On being a philosopher

I am not a philosopher. I wish I was able think as deeply as James, Emerson and Russell. I have no grasp of logic because I deemed it too difficult in my childhood and never took up the study of mathematics. My thoughts are shallow, surface level introspections, not because of lack of effort but of fear of what is found deeper within myself. I cling to Stoic teachings because they offer the common man a well tread path to happiness. In my youth I chose pleasure over study and it has cost me in later years. The quick wit and advantage of a mind so easily molded are gone. Replaced now by a timid and fearful man who counsels himself because the things he has buried in his life resurface often and cannot be tamed with the shallow experiences of youth.