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The best laid plans of mice and men...

We all have the best of intentions. For some of us that is all we have. For the past few weeks I have been in a funk, I have spent my time trying to read my way through my own anxiety. I have indulged myself in reading some of the classics of Software Architecture only to find that when I am done reading I seem to know less about the subject than when I started.

I don't think I am alone in this. I feel like I am walking in sand and each step seems to take more energy than the last. Over the weekends I seem to recharge a bit, but its never enough to make the whole week and by Wednesday I am running on fumes.

This is kinda what I wanted to talk about here. I post on linkedin about my stacks of books and my heavy reading and then when I close the app I breath a deep sigh. I pick up something by Martin Fowler and cringe at the fact that I don't know half as much as he does even though I am 10+ years into my life as a developer. So what do you do when you feel emotionally drained and powerless against a world that is quite literally trying to kill you?

If you guess read philosophy you need to stop reading this and go buy a cookie and enjoy it.... I am reading stoic literature. Namely anything by Ryan Holiday. And oddly enough what I am finding is that it seems to be the philosophy of people who tolerate not having your shit together. I would go into detail here about the philosophy but honestly it just comes down to "suck it up buttercup, this is life and you either live it or live through it....". Thats the short abridged Arkie version. If you get a chance and you get low or arent succeding where you think you should pick up something by Ryan Holiday. He doesn't mind strapping training wheels on a 2000 year old philosophy and pushing you around for a bit. Long enough for you to get a feel for it.